The Gift War
by SaphiraAzure2708
Summary: A series of gifts being exchanged between one another, escalating until Dazai decides to take pity on the Shin Soukoku and shoves one on top of the other. It begins with a gift. It ends with a kiss.


**The Gift War**

It begins with a gift.

Atsushi opens the door to the Agency, and is immediately greeted by shouts of 'Happy Birthday, Atsushi!' from his fellow detectives. He's overwhelmed from all the good will, tearfully thanking everyone for their kindness and gratefully accepting the knife from Kunikida-san to cut the coffee flavoured cake that he remembered telling Kyouka about once. _(He's touched that she remembers, that she would care about such a small detail, but coming from a fellow orphan, who's used to being ignored as well, he knows, as does she, that every little detail, every little effort counts when you're trying to show that you care)_ Yosano-sensei comments on how she didn't think Atsushi would like such a bitter thing like coffee, and he laughs, waving it off with an 'I get that a lot'.

The pile of presents that are piled up on his table catch his attention next, after he happily eats his cake _(purely coffee flavoured, dark like his soul is, as dark as a certain mafiaso's heart)_ and he spouts out more gratitude to his co-workers, his _friends_ , really, as Dazai-san ruffles his hair fondly and tells him to get on with it. The presents are carefully unwrapped one by one as he works his way through the pile, admiring each item with equal enthusiasm.

As he reaches the last one, he pauses. Does a head count. He's already received a present from everyone here, but there is still one more box left unopened in front of him. It looks unassuming, harmless, but with a touch of trepidation, he opens it cautiously. Peers into the box. Then stares in disbelief.

Someone has given him a tin of cat food for his birthday.

As various Agency members look into the box themselves and start chuckling at the irony, Atsushi scowls and looks at Dazai-san, immediately pinning the older man as the culprit behind the joke. But Dazai-san only shakes his head, equally amused and bemused over the presence of the cat food. It wasn't him, Dazai-san insisted, a smile quirking his lips, but he had a pretty good idea who it was who sent it. Atsushi presses him for an answer, mouth turning down into a pout, but he only smiles and stays mum on the answer.

It's only three days later, while on a mission with Akutagawa that he finds out the culprit behind the joke. The answer comes in a coughed out question, when Akutagawa meets him by the docks after they finish cleaning up the remnants of the drug cartel.

"Did you like the food?"

Atsushi stares at him, confused, and Akutagawa elaborates, a faint smirk making his lips twitch upwards. "The cat food that I sent you."

The pieces click into place, and Atsushi roars with rage and indignation as he lunges at Akutagawa who spins out of the way, Rashoumon writhing to life and taking its place between them, the mafiaso visibly shaking with laughter as the weretiger seethes. "It was you!"

Akutagawa laughs out loud this time, avoiding another lunge from Atsushi and using Rashoumon to propel him into the shadows. "I do hope you won't leave it to waste, Jinko. I did get the best brand for you, after all. A tiger needs its strength." He ducks under a blow, then tactfully retreats, leaving Atsushi to steam in his anger while cursing Akutagawa out. The slighted weretiger grinds his teeth in irritation, striped tail flicking about in agitation behind him. There _has_ to be some way he can get Akutagawa back.

Three days later, Chuuya passes Akutagawa a package, telling him with a smirk that it's from the Jinko. Akutagawa opens it, only to find a can of dog food inside. The accompanying note says, 'Eat up, Mad Dog'.

The can gets hurled against a wall in response, and the poor cleaners have to spend days getting the smell out from the carpeting.

* * *

Weeks later, they're still at it.

After the first exchange, the Shin Soukoku starts sending 'gifts' to each other, first to one up on each other, then to make each other infuriated. Akutagawa sends over a catnip bomb, leaving Atsushi drugged up for an entire day. (Dazai gleefully records the incident and sends it to Chuuya, who shares it with Akutagawa, who in turn teases Atsushi about it endlessly) In retaliation, Atsushi sends a collar and a leash to Gin, with an attached note that asks her to walk her 'dog' more often. (She chortles with laughter over it, contemplating putting the collar on her brother before deciding not to. Her brother manages to escape with his pride intact) Akutagawa then sends back another collar, this one with a bell on it, to Kyouka, with a note to put it on her pet cat. She promptly helps Atsushi to pick out a muzzle and send it to the mafiaso.

It escalates from there on, Akutagawa sending a cat related gift, followed by Atsushi sending a dog related gift. After receiving the muzzle, which Rashoumon rips to pieces, Akutagawa sends over a cat comb, getting back dog shampoo. The teaser toy that Dazai snatches up to play with (Atsushi would deny to his dying day that he _did_ bat at the mouse at the end of the line) is countered with doggie treats that Akutagawa tosses out to the alleyway behind his apartment building. (The dogs that frequent there were very happy and grateful for the unexpected treat) Yarn that tangles around legs and gets fibres stuck in every crevice possible has Atsushi gritting sharpened teeth and sending balls and milk bones to the mafiaso, who gives him a litter box in return. Gin then receives another gift, this time a coupon for a dog-walker, which Akutagawa rips up himself.

There is a pause then. Atsushi waits for days, wondering when the next gift will arrive, and constantly waits for the moment with mixed anticipation and irritation. With radio silence from the mafiaso, he even considers confronting Akutagawa about the sudden ceasefire, only refraining from doing it due to Chuuya-san giving him a twisted smirk whenever the executive comes by, which is pretty often, with how he and Dazai-san are finally dating at last. (It'd been equal parts heart-breaking and annoying, really, to see Dazai pining after the short-tempered mafiaso. It had taken both Akutagawa and Atsushi making them take more missions together before they'd gotten the memo to date. Atsushi wasn't sure whether to take the outcome as good or bad, though; On one hand, no more pining Dazai, but on the other, more lovey-dovey scenes in the office which made him desperate to escape from the premises; He'd taken to following Yosano-sensei on her shopping sprees, or accompanying Ranpo on his detective missions)

Finally, three weeks after the last gift, Atsushi receives something in the mail: A human-sized cat onesie that fits him perfectly. (He'd freaked out over the fact that Akutagawa knew his measurements, confronting the man during their next mission together. The response: _We're mafia. We know everything._ ) Atsushi keeps it in his closet, wearing to sleep sometimes; It's downright comfortable, especially during the colder nights – _that remind him of dark and silent nights, where he'd be locked up in the crypt, no warmth, no light, only himself and the darkness_ – and the onesie actually helps stave off the nightmares, but of course, Atsushi has to retaliate. It's a gift war, after all.

Akutagawa goes out, a week later, only to find a shabbily made doghouse sitting outside his apartment, which is promptly relocated to the alleyway behind his apartment building. (The dogs fight over it, snarling as they try to snatch the shelter for themselves, but they end up sharing it all the same) He ends up giving Jinko - no, _Atsushi_ \- a Cone of Shame, almost doubling over in laughter as Chuuya shows him a picture of Atsushi stuck with the cone on his head, courtesy of Dazai shoving it on him as a joke. (He does not mention how the sight of Atsushi's reddened face makes his stomach twist, something foreign making him hide his mouth in his laughter to also hide his own blushing cheeks)

It takes a while for Atsushi to retaliate, but when he does, Akutagawa - no, _Ryuunosuke_ \- nearly kills someone over it. He is rudely awakened by the ringing of the doorbell, opening the door to see a man from the pound, hand poised over the doorbell ready to ring it once more. Ryuunosuke nearly snaps the man's neck when he asks about a supposedly mad dog roaming around the area, with white-tipped ears and an emo-ish personality. It's only with great restraint and by remembering his promise to Atsushi that he manages to not straight-up murder the man. (However, the man does leave with a bloody nose, a broken arm, and a scarred mind. He swears to himself never to come back, to avoid the monster that lived in that apartment, the devil incarnate – _But honestly, there are more devious creatures than the one who lurks inside that apartment, ones which make the devil himself seem like an angel in comparison_ )

Atsushi wonders whether his 'gift' was too harsh, too much for the mafiaso, worrying when he is greeted with radio silence once again. _(He definitely does not wear the onesie almost every night to stave off the nightmares that threaten to overwhelm him, that tell him that he has gone too far, that he has lost an_ enemy- no, friend- no, _partner)_ But his worries are for naught, when he accompanies Dazai to the park one day on a mission requested by the zoo, of all clients, only to be greeted by zoo workers roaming around and asking him whether he's seen a rare white Bengal tiger in the area. (Dazai laughs, and laughs, and _laughs_ , almost falling over in his mirth as Atsushi stews in anger, sending the zoo workers home as he explains to them in an irritated manner unlike his usual demeanour that they were pranked)

But now, Atsushi knows he will have his revenge. He's gotten Gin in on it, asking for her help to bring Akutagawa to a dog competition. Gin is surprisingly compliant, gleefully going over the plan with him. He waits in the agency office, fidgeting as he waits for the backlash of what he's done to fall on him. All the agency members are also tense, looking up every now and then at the door, waiting, waiting, and _waiting_ , until everyone seems to just stare at the door in growing anticipation of the disaster that will arrive at any moment. Even so, they all jump when the door finally slams open, revealing a fuming Ryuunosuke practically frothing at the mouth when he catches sight of Atsushi, who freezes in place like a startled cat.

Atsushi wonders, for a moment, whether this is what feels like to look Death in the eye.

He doesn't have time to wonder, though, as Ryuunosuke stalks up to him and looms over him. Absentmindedly, he notes that Ryuunosuke's dressed smartly in a knee length trench coat, complete with a pair of sunglasses that make him look dashingly handsome. (Not that he'd ever get to say that out loud, considering his imminent death) With a gulp, he offers a trembly smile to the angry mafiaso. "Hi?"

* * *

Ryuunosuke is angry. No, more than that. Ryuunosuke is _pissed_. He'd assumed that Gin was on his side in the gift war, especially since she was the one to help him figure out Atsushi's size for the onesie, but this, this just made the betrayal worse.

Gin had invited him to a dog competition this morning, and against his better judgement, he'd went, dressing casually to avoid notice from the police. _(He'd assumed that she wanted to spend more time with him, what with their positions in the Mafia making it hard for them to meet up outside working hours)_ Upon arriving though, he'd been flabbergasted to find out that Gin had actually registered him as an entry, furthermore, as a Chihuahua. (He'd almost committed mass murder right then and there, when the organisers began chuckling at his expense after Gin had explained the entire situation)

Now, he had stormed into the ADA's office, confronting Atsushi whilst ignoring the other detectives in the room. _(It's probably the first time he's ever managed to disregard Dazai-san's presence, but his anger at Atsushi is powerful enough to make him forget that Dazai-san was ever there)_ And Atsushi had the gall to look up at him with a wobbly smile and say 'Hi'?!

"You-!" Ryuunosuke can't even formulate the words needed to express how angry he is right now, forgoing conversation in favour of pulling the weretiger up by his tie. The weretiger gulps, purple-yellow eyes blown wide in alarm and trepidation as the mafiaso glowers at him. Before anything can happen, though, Ranpo interrupts the rising tension.

"Just kiss already, you two," The detective quips, not even looking up from his magazine. Amidst the sudden silence that envelops the room, he finally looks up and gives them a deadpan look. "You've been exchanging gifts throughout the past few weeks, and spending your pay checks on each other to the point that one of you," here he looks pointedly at Atsushi, who flushes red, "has resorted to working extra hours at the cafe below to earn enough money to pay for all the extravagance. Resorting to jokes like sending officials to each other's residences to look for missing animals is just for the sake of keeping up the facade of this being a joke, and by registering Akutagawa in a dog competition, you've gotten the help of his sister, which means that you've technically met the family. Congratulations. You've completed all the steps of courting another person. Now, save us all the trouble of watching you two pine after one another and _just kiss_." With that, Ranpo goes back to his magazine, ignoring the awkwardness in the room.

Ryuunosuke drops Atsushi's tie like a hot potato, stepping back and covering his mouth as he coughs to hide how red his face has become. Atsushi isn't any better off, dropping back into his seat and burying his tomato red face in his hands. The silence stretches on, until Dazai grows tired of it and gives Ryuunosuke a push, sending him crashing into Atsushi, both yelping and trying to stop the fall, only to accidentally have their lips lock in a kiss.

The ensuing laughter and catcalls leave the Shin Soukoku embarrassed and finally confessing to each other, though not without Atsushi throwing a book at Dazai's head as he guffaws. Chuuya only shakes his head at his lover's antics and gives a thumbs-up to Ryuunosuke, who has trouble keeping his feelings in check; Rashoumon is now curling around Atsushi's hands and torso in a sort of hug, silently awed that this cheerful being, this wonderfully bright and kind being would consent to becoming his partner, his other half.

* * *

After they sort out everything, they finally end up on the rooftop, far away from prying eyes. (Atsushi's sure he'd seen money being exchanged between hands; Even between Fukuzawa-shachō and Yosano-sensei. He is horrified.) Ryuunosuke coughs and Atsushi pulls away from his musings, looking back at his partner. They simply just spend a moment staring at each other, taking in how they have come so far from the first bloody meeting they had, nearly two years ago.

Then Atsushi leans forward, gently initiating the first proper kiss they have. In between the ensuing chaste kisses they share, inexperienced and unsure hands fumbling to wrap around each other's bodies in a hug, they whisper words that only the other can hear, words that convey just how much they care, no, how much they _love_ each other.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

It begins with a gift. It ends with a kiss.


End file.
